I miss my mother so much..Weekend ni try call few times but no one answered. I dunno why, but since I went to Canada, my mind keep recalling the times when me and my mother were together. I couldn't help crying if I started to remember what I did to my mother. Even now, I always do the best for her, but it is still not enough to repay her. Her sacrifice. Her unconditional love (which when I was young, I mean very young, I always felt that I was not the favourite ones, terukkan?). Since my father passed away in 1994, I thought that I had lost someone that could understand me and love me with all his heart. It was because my mother was quite 'garang' when we were kids. I always had the kind of rebellious character towards my mother during my teen years. But always I ended up with guilty and regrets.
When I grew older, I started to realize how much she had done for us, how she loved us so much. Thus, I hate being a teenager. Don't take me wrong, I mean why as a teenager we have to be a rebel and wanted everybody to listen to us?? yeah, I knew what you gonna say. That's part of life. And, Alhamdulillah, I'm getting better in controlling my emotion as time goes by. So, I want to start to love my mother and care for her unconditionally and do whatever it takes to make her happy. I know now how much she love me. Infinity. My sisters and nieces kept telling me how sad she was the day I went to Canada. And they tried to keep her happy, which she could only feel that when she heard my voice on the phone. Sedih sgt masa tuh. But as time goes by, we are getting better. And from now on, I promise to myself not to hurt her feeling anymore, InsyaAllah. ~Cos she is everything to me~